~jousha

Aside from prettying up my journal, or ... contributing to forums, I think my hopes for my current involvement on deviantART will fruition (if they haven't already).

I'm not as obsessed with throwing my stuff up on here for thousands to read. I have browsed through new submissions at least once a week for at least a half or so.

I just put up my first song lyric and I might do more. I don't plan on bringing my "true" poems on here because I still have this mix of hope, vanity, and naivety that they will some day be published. I have plenty of pictures from China that I could put up here as well. The comic thing may be a no-go since my interest isn't as much in the drawing aspect. I think I'm a decent enough artist, but I haven't got enough patience or vision of characters involved to flesh it on paper.

I did graffiti (a Facebook application) Bobby Lee as the toy company employee, and that turned out decent enough for me to want to do stuff like that more often, so who knows. Practice makes perfect, and maybe I'll try digital painting on PS after a while. It all depends on if I get in the mood or not.

So, that all said, I've gotten comfortable in my position as a "shadow deviant." I almost don't even know who I'm writing to anymore these days. I think most of my friends are absent, and I don't blame them. Sticking to an online community you know nothing about can be discouraging, especially when there are so many other ones out there to sign up for. Some people find their niche in the system, while others get alienated. MySpace, deviantART, Youtube, etc. don't change our human nature to huddle into our comfortable groups and lift up our genius talents to crowd surf above us.

Yes, I am often reminded how jealous and envious I can be. I'll live with that flaw easily enough as with my other flaws. Nothing against those genius talents or popular identities---most of them deserve their status! While the rest of us on the bottom probably deserve ours ...

(that went downhill quick lol)